Limitations of Friendship: Tolerance for Watching Abuse, Addiction, BS

Husband and baby are now sleeping, and my mental dilemma continues.

We got the ticket to get me to Texas for my brother's wedding. Thanks everyone!
Also, I found my materials to make my bridesmaid dress and have made some headway into the origami flowers for the wedding.

For me and my life, things are pretty much right on track, potty training aside. I'm even making new friends.

That brings me to the random excess dilemma of the moment. Most of the people who have time for me and for whom I have time tend to fall into the category of having figured a few things out. Some are in rockier relationships than others, but most have partners who at the end of the day are trying to work with them, not against them. These people are capable of change.

But some aren't. Some people find themselves stuck in abusive situations. I know because I've seen it before. I watched my future sister-in-law navigate such a marriage, and it took a long time to claw her way out, but she's there now, on solid footing emotionally, happier and more secure tan I've ever seen her.

I don't know that I knew how to help her when times were tough, but we'd been talking once a week every week since college, so it was easy to lend an ear and try to help balance things out.

Once I was good at this shoulder-to-cry-on stuff. A long time ago, I was the arms wrapped around a girl in the ghetto while we hid in the closet, listening to her father strike her mother. Once, I could help, in whatever meager way I knew how. But I knew how.

That is lost to me now. I find myself already at my wit's end, having begged everyone I can think of for advice on the subject and coming to the conclusion that no amount of advice is really going to change the facts here. Inside, I feel inadequate. As a friend and confidant, I feel like a sham, because I don't know how to call upon that patience, to root from the sidelines and watch the long game, reminding a friend that there is a path out of the darkness if she has the courage to take it.
All I want to do is scream bloody murder. I would rather fight with my fists or my words than stand by, but standing by is all I can do.

People who choose to be in abusive relationships-- romantically, physically, pharmaceutically; it doesn't matter how-- have to make the choice to get out. Reminding them that there's a choice might be the best you can do.

The same goes for a slew of mental issues. Take hoarding for example. I am a hoarder, but someone else cleaning my house for me doesn't fix crap. It'll only bring on an anxiety attack, and if I have the money to, I'll fill all that space back up with stuff in no time. Retraining my brain to organize and utilize; reminding myself that some things saved past their prime are wasted-- that's how to get me out of this. I have to choose to improve and stay committed to not over-buying, not long-term storing, not keeping all of the useless junk for eternity.

So, if you're in a bad place, remember there's a road to recovery. There is a way out of your hell. It will be painful but worth it when you're in a position not to be someone's punching bag, emotionally or physically. But you have to choose self-repair. I can't choose it for you.

But knowing this and writing this does little do quell the chorus of self-loathing echoing inside. I'm not good at being a friend anymore. I'm not a good friend.

That's not to say I don't have good friends or that I'm not a good friend to anyone. It's only to say that my patience is limited, and the amount of drama I am willing to watch, even more so.
I am suddenly really glad that I never became a therapist. If this is my tolerance level, I would have done more harm than good.
Also, I talk too much.

I want to be a better friend, to save your day by reaching into your head and fixing whatever makes you think this is a normal or natural behavioral trait, but I've lived long enough to know that's impossible. But I will be here rooting for you, hoping you choose life over BS, movement over stagnation, pain-transitioning-to-happiness over hell. I'll try to listen, and I am sorry if I fail.

I will try again, and try harder.
I hope you do, too.

A Plea and a Bargain

Today I spent part of the morning looking up airline prices for ticket to take me to my brother's wedding in December. As the GoFundMe my soon-to-be sister-in-law set up has raised $690, I didn't expect to be too close to our lofty goals of over $3000 to get tickets for my husband, my daughter and myself. Since the beginning of our efforts, and the emergence of a half-dozen other fundraisers from friends for other causes, I have set the more realistic goal of $1000 to get one ticket for me to fly.

This means I would be flying alone, leaving my husband to his work and my daughter to be spoiled at her grandparents' house. This means leaving my two-year-old for days on end when I've only been away from her for a few hours to teach before. While this trip will still be difficult for my family and me, the strain of a few days apart is not nearly as heartbreaking as missing my only sibling's wedding.

To my surprise, tickets today including fees and insurance came up to just over $800. 

$800?! Holy crap! I have never seen such a cheap ticket to get home before! Back when I was gainfully employed, before marriage or baby-rearing, I flew back and forth across the Pacific a number of times, but never for less than $1000. I picked cheap flights too and once spent an 8-hour layover in San Francisco's airport on New Year's Day because it was the cheapest available flight.

If we can buy a ticket soon, we only need $800. Airline ticket prices rise by the day.

If you have already donated, I thank you. If you're thinking about it, do it now! Help if you can! $5 from 30 people and I'm in Texas! So there's the plea. Here's the bargain: I make things. Lots of things. 

Sock monkeys

Endure4Kindness 2014-- All the Monkeys

 Sock Monkey Hats

Julia modeling her Sock Monkey Hat

 Arm Warmers

My Crafting for Kindness Campaign

Origami

My GISHWHES Origami Centerpiece

Would you like any of these things? Any of it can be made for you by me! Just contribute to the fund and let me know what you would like. I can bring it to Texas in December or ship earlier upon request. I've been known to make Sock Monkeys in specific genres. Here is the Geisha Sock Monkey I made as a commissioned piece last year:

Complete with Kimono and Sandals

As I live in Japan, I also have access to random Japanese stuff. If you're interested, email me at j.elaine.fleming@gmail.com or message me on twitter or Facebook. If you'd like to donate, you can do that here. If you've already donated and would like one of my bargain items in return, let me know.

Thank you so much for reading!

GISHWHES Round Up

GISHWHES was last week and it was awesome. A few things made this year significantly better than last year:

1. Our team was made up of friends or friends of friends, the last of whom was part of the team a month before the big event. Last year, I wasn't even registered until a few days before registration closed and our team was mostly fragments of other teams with just a couple of individual players.

2. Group GISHing. It's hard to be the only one in your physical area who is also doing GISH or on your GISH team. A lot of the items are better if done by a group. Some are impossible to do solo. This year I was blessed to have a couple of ladies in my vicinity for the first half of GISH, which we knocked a lot of items out, giving me time to work out some other items and do some I had originally considered impossible. Most of these could not have been done by myself. None of them could have been more fun.

3. Because our group was all well informed before the event started, we had prepared for certain snafus, such as one girl being unable to send any of her completed items in due to lack of internet after mid-week. We divided up what was left of hers and did our best. Some amazing stuff happened.

4. I pushed myself and did everything I could figure out how to do, and some that I didn't know how to do before last week.


Things I learned to be better about next year:

1. Include Julia more. She wants to be included. Once I got her into costume, she had a blast. More of this needs to happen for her.

2. Ensured internet access options for our members. I think this will be better resolved though because everyone involved will likely have been in their home-state for more than two weeks before GISHWHES (which was not the case this round)


All in all, it was a wonderful time. Lots of crazy antics were had. I have no idea what anyone else thinks, but I am thrilled with our outcomes.

To Be (Friends) or Not To Be...

Is it bad that I still don't play well with others? 

The most negative thing on my all-A report cards in elementary school was that. Does not play well with others. And I blamed myself. I didn't fit in, and couldn't. When the other kids were playing, I was over-analyzing, thinking too hard about things later proved inconsequential. It later occurred to me that the other kids weren't trying to exclude me usually, and that my sad attempts to fake a normalcy I couldn't understand were off-putting to say the least. Sometime around puberty I gave up the charade and decided to just be me. That was the best possible answer and I try to stay true to it, but ...

Fast forward the better part of a couple of decades and I'm living in Japan, in a culture that I don't know how to get on in. Maybe missing out on those developmental years of friend-making popularity stuff took a toll.

But I do have friends. Not many that I keep up with constantly, but a bunch. I have some close friends in my town or in the vicinity (other foreigners, mostly), and a few I see weekly online to catch up. Others I hear from every few weeks or month or so. Some in Japan I only see once every few months, but when we hang out, we have a great time.

I am satisfied with my number of friends and generally with the amount of closeness to them.

But what of friendship with other moms, the way Japanese moms tend to do? Why not find some people with similarly aged kids and go have fun getting to know them? Great for my Japanese ability, great for my daughter, great for everyone!

Except I don't want to. I have no drive to do this, Is this horrible?

One of my best friends is also a mom, and her experience has helped me tremendously, so I am not knocking having mom friends, but I don't really care to make friends with people only because our kids are around the same age. That's not enough common ground and can breed scary levels of competition and gossip over meaningless crap.

Or maybe it's just the outsider in me refusing to attempt another team sport.

Recently, I made a new acquaintance, another foreign woman with a Japanese hubby living long term in the land of the rising sun. She introduced me to a facebook group for similar folks and that is so awesome that I invited all friends in similar situations to join it, just in case they need the help and friendship they may not have in their given area.

I realize the long-term Japan thing is a huge challenge, and without a network of friends and family, it is all the more difficult, so I implore any lonely foreigners out there to go out and make friends. Do what I can't. Don't let yourself down.

Meanwhile, I am going to try to raise my daughter and keep the friends I have, wherever they run off to.

That Whole Bakery Thing....

Recently, an Oregon couple running a bakery was ordered to pay $135,000 in damages to a homosexual couple they refused to bake a wedding cake for on the basis of their religious beliefs as Christians. The couple sites bible verses regarding participating in other people's sins and believe that homosexuality is a sin, therefor participating in a homosexual wedding by baking a cake is the same as being in a homosexual relationship and condoning all that goes with that.


Personal belief is all well and good, and in general I usually choose the path of putting my money where my mouth is, not giving commerce to people I feel treat me unfairly or make me uncomfortable. Maybe my stance as a liberal Texan has something to do with my lack of desire to legally challenge those who prefer not to serve me. But the laws in Texas are different from the laws in Oregon.


Oregon's non-discrimination law clarifies:

"Discrimination in Public Accommodation 
A place of public accommodation is defined in state law as any place that offers the public accommodations, advantages, facilities or privileges, whether in the nature of goods, services, lodging, amusements or otherwise. It is illegal to discriminate in places of public accommodation on the basis of race, sex (including pregnancy), sexual orientation, national origin, religion, marital status, physical or mental disability, or age (18 years of age and older). "

From Oregon's government website, available here.
The full legal definition of "Accomodation" is also available here and states very clearly (7E) that bakeries count.


Once again, personal beliefs are great, but should probably be kept personal, not in business. Anyone operating a business in any state should recognize the laws of that state and know what they can be held liable for. This includes business taxes, discrimination laws, and any other law with which they may conceivably find themselves conflicted.

In the baker's position, were I uncomfortable with making a "gay cake" I would gladly have lied, explaining a difficulty in scheduling or a problem with wedding cake making. I would have lied my butt off, stayed in business, and done my best not to give someone fodder for a discrimination lawsuit. But I am not a proud Christian.

I am also not someone who believes in the notion of a Christian Nation. The very idea negates one of the most beautiful things about the country. When the founding fathers elected to abandon the monarchy, the did not do so to set up a new system of religious rule. For this reason at least, the separation of church and state is sacred and beautiful. We should all be fair under the eyes of the law, so long as our actions do not infringe upon the rights of others.

According to the laws of the state of Oregon, a baker declining to bake a cake based on the sexual preference of the recipients of the cake is discrimination. That's the law. It would be the same if an innkeeper turned them out on the street upon learning of the couple's status. Or a lecture hall turning away someone of a different race, creed, or sexual orientation purely for that reason. This is discrimination as it is laid out in Oregon's legal code.

The homosexual couple went on to sue for emotional damages, as is their right and the reason for the financial aspect of this case. I can tell you first hand that not landing the cake-bakery of your dreams for your wedding can be disheartening. Being told by the bakers that the reason for this is the fact of your sexual preference is beyond disheartening, and definitely rage inducing to say the least. For people in a small town, this is a serious emotional pummeling. Knowing that the same bakery you've been going to for years, the same one that you just knew would be perfect, is run by people who believe in their heart of hearts that helping you on your special day in any way is a ticket to eternal damnation...yeah, that would hurt, especially in a place where bakeries are not a dime a dozen.

The town where this happened is a lot smaller than my hometown, so just finding another bakery wasn't as easy as it had been for me, when I planned my wedding from Japan. After our first bakery option fell through completely, I had only six weeks to find a new bakery and get a cake settled. Given a limited budget and specific desires, I could only find two bakeries servicing the area the wedding would be in that would also communicate with me via email. One of these listened to my desires, negotiated on the price and tasting times, and wound up being everything you could want from a bakery. The other ran me around, quoting prices and ideas for two weeks that were later revealed to be completely bogus. The only thing in my price range was a pre-made plastic cake with a small cut-able cake on top, which was the last thing I wanted.
Even in the seventeenth largest city in the US, getting a bakery for your wedding can be extremely challenging.

Now imagine if I had been marrying my Japanese fiance in the fifties. I would likely have received similar treatment to the gay couple. And if my spouse had been female instead of male? Who knows?

The bakers should have conducted their business in a place like Texas, where it is well known (though not well documented) that most businesses in general may reserve the right to deny service to anyone, depending on the ordinances in their city. Non-discrimination policies don't even exist in many urban areas. In fact, should word get around of their position as a Proud Homophobic Christian Bakery, in many circles, they would attract far more customers.

No, Postman: Adventure 2: Phone Tag With Well-Meaning Imbeciles

My husband came home last night and I told him of my adventures in hiding from the weird post office guy, at which point he immediately looked up the number for the Post Office Complaint line, which he called and was hung up on twice before looking instead for the English call-center line, which he got through on and handed his phone to me.

I explained the situation to a woman with a Japanese-Australian accent, who said she would call the post office and attempt to figure out why the guy had come to my house. She then called back twice for details. Then she called back to say that the post office would investigate and call her back the next day (today) at which point she would call me.

So today, I answered the phone when a strange Japanese number appeared on the screen and was greeted by a completely different woman at the Shiogama Post Office, not the help line. She gave me 7 digits of a phone number, saying it was the help line, before making some "biting the lip" sounds and asking to continue in Japanese, which I didn't understand most of anyway.

I tried to explain that I had already called the help line, yesterday, so I already had the number. I said this in both languages. She said another sentence of things I don't understand.

Because at this time I was balancing my toddler and feeling guilty for taking a call while video chatting with my grandmother, I cut it short at this point. I said, in Japanese. "I am sorry. I am busy. So very sorry." and hung up. I then was so frustrated that I turned off my phone for fear that she would then try to call back.

Is this some girlfriend to a sex offender, trying to make sure he doesn't get in trouble for following a foreigner home by making the process for inquiry so difficult so as to be unmanageable? More likely, this is a coworker of an incompetent jerk who didn't find it strange to follow a woman home, ring her bell incessantly, knock on her door, and not just leave a damned note in her post box.

Now, I am going to eat something. then I am going to call the English help line back and tell them what happened today as well as recount the events of July 1.

Then maybe they will call Shiogama's post office and get a more direct answer than this unending pile of BS.

Oh wait, there's someone at the door.

Update:  In the time it took me to get to the intercom, it stopped ringing.

Update 2:  I called the call center, explained my situation, and was promised a call back, which I got with the surprising news that Shiogama finally called them and let them know the source of all this craziness-- I had labelled one of the packages as containing a toy, and they needed to know if it contained a battery.

Seriously. All that stress for "batteries not included."

Definitely not using that post office again for a while.

Today's Adventure: No, Postman. I will not ring you up.

Sometimes I know what I'm doing here and I feel at peace. Sometimes I feel like I belong somewhere, usually in my home with a warm beverage on a drizzly, windy day like today.

Today was going to be a doozy anyway. A dear friend just finished up her brief visit with our family, heading out this morning. Also, tonight is one of the nights my husband is required to stay at work, which means I alone take care of the baby but I also only have to cook for myself and her.


In an attempt to feel useful, I dressed Julia up and we ran to the post office to send off a bunch of sock monkey hats. On the way, my toddler battled for control of the umbrella and stood in the largest puddle she could find before splashing all the mud on me. It's the first day we've had rain and the time to walk in it, so I couldn't be mad. Also, she got a chance to use the green wellies a student brought her from London over a year ago.

Not using air mail, the postage was reasonable, in fact a lot cheaper than I thought it would be. Then we put some money in the ATM, which I had to try twice in Japanese, challenging myself not to use the English instructions instead.

Then we came home, which was made harder by her decision on bolt out the door to our building as I was trying to shake the water off our collapsed umbrella. Luckily Hana, my best friend here, was walking down the street right at that moment and helped me wrangle Julia into the lobby.

Julia and I came upstairs, and all was well, until there was a ring at the buzzer. A young man from the post office asked if I was Tsuzuki by name, to which I agreed. Then he went into a rapid-fire native-level paragraph as to why he had come.

And I gave up. I seriously only understood my name and he appeared to have possibly been the guy who was at the counter that we went through, but somehow he didn't get my language level through our previous exchange.

I am overloaded. And I have no more to say. To him. To anyone. We're done with this.

However, the young man persisted. He buzzed up again five minutes later, then waited and buzzed up with one of my neighbors, an older lady who I like but can't understand more than one sentence out of five from. Then he came up and rang the doorbell twice.

I have yet to answer. I feel bad about wasting the man's time, but I also refuse to listen to more stuff I have no hope of understanding from someone who doesn't get that "intermediate ability" and "complete fluency" are not the same thing. It is shameful that fewer than three sentences can send me into this, and it isn't his fault that I am not better at this language. Nevertheless, I just can't open that door.

Hopefully, if something is wrong with a package, he'll leave it in my box downstairs and I'll try again later. If it's a refund or some other thing, he can also leave it there. I have no interest in continuing a conversation in which all I can recognize is my name and all I can say is "yes...."

Saying yes even when you don't understand is very normal in Japanese, but also very dangerous.

Now I am going to stay in here, absorbed by cowardice, and try to take care of my screaming toddler.

Perhaps with a hot beverage.

How Julia Met the Mayor and Other April Hijinks

April has been one amazing month, let me tell you.

First, there was a lot of rain, which I was none-too-thrilled about. The cherry blossoms were blooming and I made a point of going to see them with my toddler (who spent 5 minutes eating and 20 running around like crazy) at Shiogama Shrine on Monday, the 6th. After this, I kept on writing and preparing for the Steampunk Hanami event my friends and I had been planning for a bit. Finally, on the 19th, we got to go out, all in fancy dress, and fully enjoy ourselves. It was fantastic. The photos will be edited and put together in a story-book later.

The day previous had also been fantastic. After teaching and fixing rips in my couch with vinyl, glue, and suede, I received my daughter from my in-laws, brought her to another hanami with friends in Sendai, and hang out with them for Starbucks. At 7:15, we met one of our Shiogama friends at HonShiogama Station and went to a sweets-making event. It turned out to be an event aimed more at children than adults, but we still enjoyed making our tiny sweets and devouring them…and then the mayor of the city showed up. My friend greeted him well and told me who he was, as I of course don’t really know any Japanese politicians. Then my toddler ran around for a bit and the mayor caught her looking at some fairly expensive phone straps. I was warning her not to touch them when the man picked one up and said in Japanese that he would buy it for her.

I know in Japanese this is at least a 5 part conversation, as follows:

Mayor: “I will buy this for your daughter.”

Mother: “No, no. That’s not necessary. Please don’t.”

Mayor: “Nope. I’m going to do it.”

Mother: “Oh, okay. If you must. You’re too generous.”

Mayor: “Here you are.”

The only problem is I don’t know how to say almost any of this in keigo, the super-formal language form you should definitely use with the Mayor. So I sat there making sounds of protest with my mouth that were not words in any language. Then I attempted to stand and instead slammed into a supporting beam of the tea-house, shaking the room less than an earthquake but more than noticeably. All of this was ignored by all of the patrons as the Mayor returned with the $10 phone charm for the baby. I bowed and thanked him as profusely as I knew how.

And that’s how Julia not only met the mayor but also received a present from him.

March 2015! GISHWHES Announced! Awesome times begin!

March! Yay!

Soon-ish there will be cherry blossoms and temperatures that don't make me shudder! Woot woot!

In addition, the Hina Matsuri Doll collection my in-laws set up in my house (as is custom) is finally back in storage, meaning I can spend a little more of my time being a person and not a toddler chasing madwoman. Putting a very expensive set of dolls so close to tiny, prying, destructive hands is just such a bad idea.
But it's custom.
So it is.


In other awesome news, GISHWHES dates have been announced. This year, the registration is going to be open for 18 weeks instead of the measly 4 last year. This year is going to rock. Here's why:

1. I have been gathering teammates from the splendid people I already know, giving them the information they need to make an informed decision and know not only what they are getting into but what is expected from them.
2. My team is already starting to talk to each other. We have an actual team name! Last year, it was a last-ditch sort of affair and I named my tiny, 5 person team "42" because it was the shortest name I could think of and a good Douglas Adams reference. Partial teams gets joined together with "loves" between the team names. For instance, team "Pudding" and team "Wombats" would become Team PuddingLovesWombats. If you add more teams, you get longer things. Our team had four loves in it last year. I am aiming to not repeat this.
3. If everyone who I have in the facebook group joins, I will already have 2/3 of a team that I know and trust. That is just so cool.
4. Having all this time means tons of time to think, plot, save, and prepare. Many plans are already in place. Also, I've already made a Dinomite (the 2015 mascot-- half Dinosaur, half mite).

I also have a cunning plan. For each of these 18 weeks, I will do one GISH related activity in preparation. Last week, I created a replica of the mascot. This weekend, I have AMOK (Annual Melee of Kindness, a weekend long kind-a-thon from Random Acts) during which I will write postcards to anyone I can, shouting kindness across the seas, spreading it to the global community. 

Next week, I may film a series of weird stuffed-animal battles (including the Dinomite) as part of an English lesson with a very interesting 9 year old boy, soon-to-be 10.

And after that? Who knows!
Options I have come up with include:

• Making a Youtube video about GISHWHES
• Making more Dinomites for my teammates
• Making a new mascot costume for my daughter
• Finishing accessories to a steampunk ensemble for an upcoming Steampunk and Cherry Blossoms picnic (oh heck yeah!)

Any suggestions? Let me know!

For more information on GISHWHES, please visit this site or ask me.
For information on the Dinomite, watch this video:

Arm Warmers! I've still got 'em!

Arm Warmers

I'm still selling arm-warmers to help my mom fix the exceedingly cheap used car she bought. Help her not get stranded on the side of the road!
I still have these styles left and enough to make more of most of them if you're interested.

I'm asking for $10 per pair, which includes shipping from Japan. 

If that's too steep, email me at j.elaine.fleming@gmail.com or message me on facebook to negotiate.

I am really interested in getting these to people who can use them before the weather warms up too much.

Take care, all!

Super light weight rock-star type. Good for places where you want sweater sleeves on you forearms. Not bad for Texas.

Thick as two layers of broadcloth. Lightweight with ancient, illegible kanji.

Short. 1 layer of textures pink fleece. Fun and funky!

Dragons on white fleece. Smokey and fun.

Dark, inky dragons on gray fleece. Warm and stretchy.

Sakura on pink fleece. Cute, warm and fuzzy.

New Years Goals, Arm Warmers, and Progress

Hello universe. Welcome to near the end of the first week of February. Having a good one? I hope so.
Sorry for the weird color choice today. Something has gone strange in the coding and this was the only way I could think of to get the text to show up.

I have not posted a new list of funk-fighting techniques as I have not had time to finish performing the acts on the previous list here. Also, it is slowly warming up and my funk is slowly lifting. One awesome thing about being in Japan is knowing that the cherry blossoms are coming just as soon as it stops freezing.

Things out here are good. Specifically, my attempts to save the day with arm warmers and work toward publishing this year are moving in a good direction. I have only sold a few arm warmers. Here are the remaining ones. I have the fabric remaining to make new/bigger/smaller versions of any of these (excluding the pink textured fleece) if they catch your fancy.

Again, if you're interested in any of these, the cost is $10 (free shipping!) and all proceeds go to my mom's car fund for college. 

In related news, my mother had acquired a very cheap and fairly-reliable car. Hopefully it will continue to work but there is no telling what will happen when you get one so cheap. I am still running this fundraiser to help her get to the finish line.

Now, on the New Years Goal.

One of my goals for the last few years had been to get back into publishing my work and actually pursue this writing thing I have been claiming to have been doing for so long. So this year I am going to do it. I am going to make it happen. here's how:

Every month I will submit my work to contests and publications. The number of submissions must match or be greater than the number of the month. For instance, last month I submitted one piece to a travel writing contest. This month I must submit 2 pieces to some kind of publications and/or contests. Next month, 3. etc. The type of publication or size of the prize are of no consequence save for the fact that until I win something that pays I have not allowed myself to enter anything with an entry or reading fee. I don't know that I could afford to lose until I win some of the free options. Once I win one, I can use part or all of my winnings to enter the next one. Until then, it has to be free.

I've already got one down for this month, and I am allowing myself to work ahead. If I continue on this trend for the whole year, I will have submitted 73 pieces by the end of December and will average around 6 submissions per month. So if I feel up to submitting a bunch this month, I might not have to work as hard in November or December, when I already have so many other things going on.

That's my goal. What's yours?

I don't do New Years resolutions because they are easy to break and feel bad about. "I will not have a coke this year." might be quite beneficial to both my waistline and general health, but I'd rather focus on objectives I can win over things to avoid. So eating healthier? Great goal, and it can happen at any point over the course of the year.

This year, my goals are as follows:

• 1.     Potty train my daughter, who is actively entertained by her potty, so this should be in motion soon.
• 2.   Get published again (as many times as possible). If I make it to 2016 with 73 rejections and no more publishing credits than I have to my name right now, I will still feel that I have given it my best shot. Not a reason to give up, mind you, but definitely not a reason to feel defeated, either.
• 3.    Get rid of the excess. Mostly this refers to my clothing  and cloth stash. I need to use up the cloth and other vcrafting bits I tend to hoard and simultaneously transform the wardrobe of things I almost never wear for whatever reason into something wearable, usable, or invisable. If that means I give it to charity, sell it to a second hand store, or turn it into a throw rug. So be it. The things need to be done.
• 4.    Get into the habit of cleaning properly and frequently. I recently spend 3 days taking down lace curtains, bleaching the crap out of them, washing them, drying them, and hanging them back up. This could be avoided with regular condensation removal. Being so close to the ocean and in a country known for deep humidity, the struggles of keeping a home clean have been pretty foreign to me, a woman from nice, hot, dry Texas. Not to mention the fact that I am lazy and have natural hoarding tendencies anyway.

So there's my list. 4 things I want to accomplish by the end of the year. Let's go!

Fight Your Funk!!

Winter depression is a thing, and I know it kicks me right where it hurts. How about you?

Well for anyone out there looking for some zaniness or a good challenge to keep motivation up and spirits high, I suggest Fighting Your Funk. By that I mean a GISHWHES inspired short list of a few weird but fun challenges. Do one a week. Do one a day. Do one and see how it makes you feel.

There are no prizes for this other than the achievement of pulling yourself out of your funk.

For me, that's already a pretty big prize, so let's get going.

Here are 15 challenges of varying levels of difficulty. The only one responsible for laws you break or damage you incur is yourself, so choose carefully. You need not do all or any of the tasks. This is for entertainment purposes only.
When you complete a task, upload the pics or video to imgur/youtube and share them on twitter with the tag #FightyrFunk so we can all share in their awesomeness.

Here's the first list. Expect the second list in 2 weeks.

1. Re-enact a scene from a classic 1980s film using sock puppets. (like Amanda Palmer's LABYRINTH with SOCK PUPPETS )
2. Be Ironic. Donate blood while dressed as a vampire.
3. Make Mayhem. Literally. Sew, craft, weave, or otherwise decorate something with the word "Mayhem" in as many languages as you can. *(Bonus points for accurate kanji)
4. Tackle a problem you've been avoiding. You know which one I mean.
5. Volunteer at a soup kitchen while dressed as a superhero of your choice.
6. Dance in a public place where dancing is not normally seen (i.e. bookstore, supermarket, Wall Street). Music optional.
7. Send three postcards to people you have not seen in six months or more.
8. Write down five things you are thankful for. Every day. For a week. Take a picture of the 35 sentences all together.
9. Your bed is now a pirate ship. Dress yourself and your ship accordingly. *Extra points for a full crew.
10. Find 3-5 object in your home that are in good condition but rarely if ever used. Give them to someone who will use them. Objects need not go to the same person.
11. Learn a new skill and demonstrate it within a 24 hour period.
12. Teach someone your new skill from 11.
13. Come up with your own Random Act project to benefit people or a person in your area and fill out a form to make it come to life at this website.
14. Perform a short play comprised only of lines from an English phrasebook. A limit of one line per page of the book can appear in the play.
15. Make a geoglyph exclaiming, "I am fighting my funk!" Geoglyphs must extend at least 15 feet in one direction.

*Except there are no points here. We are all winners.

Have fun! Fight your funk!

Arm Warmers and Ways to Help (My Mom)

I've made a little progress in the way of arm warmer making. Video to be posted as soon as I can make that work. In the mean time, here is a picture of the completed pairs. All are completely available for $10 per pair! Free shipping!

1. The first from the left is a lightly quilted number depicting rabbits and sakura blossoms. Wear it and say, "Come on, Spring!"
2. The second is a set with illegible kanji, save for the big white characters that are parts of the names of famous Japanese military leaders. Wear it and say, "Yeah, you can't read it either, buddy!"
3. The third is a fleecy pair, short but stretchy. Fun and funky.
4. The fourth is a longer, stretchy silver pair. They remind me of Amanda Palmer, and putting them on makes me feel like a rock star.
5. The fifth is a larger set for larger arms, made with charcoal fleece and a black dragon print on light gray. Good for a dragon lover!
6. The sixth is a longer set with orange dragons on white with a tan knit insert. Again, good for a dragon lover!

I have 2 pairs of the kanji, which is lined in white. I also have enough fabric to make more of the dragons. If you see something you like, let me know. If you aren't sure about sizing, send me an email and I'll do my best to make sure you get something you can wear.


Other Ways to Help

As you can see, I'm working on making fundraiser items to help support my mom in her quest to complete her associate's degree in IT. In order to do this, she needs transportation. With no job, no money, and no car, things are pretty bleak. This is where you come in.

Things you can do to help my mom:

• Contribute to her campaign on this website. A credit card is required. If you have paypal, contact me or her to work something out.
• If you're in DFW, give her a ride when you can. Check in on her. See if you can help her when she needs it.
• Buy arm warmers from me! $10 for something to keep your arms warm.
• Buy a sock monkey from me! I can still make sock monkeys, especially those with specific Japanese themes. Ninja monkeys will be available from $10 starting next month. If you've got another theme in mind (geisha, samurai, etc.) contact me for more details.

Happy 2015 and Crafting for a Cause

Happy 2015 Blogverse!

This year, I will tend to you more regularly.

Also, this year, we're starting things off a bit wonky but focused.


I am still finishing off the last of the sock monkeys from my Endure for Kindness thing back in October, and once the last one is ready to be shipped I plan to dive right into my first ever Crafting for a Cause project: Arm Warmers to benefit this amazing cause.

For anyone who isn't already aware, my mother has fallen on hard times financially and the lingering, expensive death of her car was nothing easy to withstand. Now she has to make it across her city to finish her degree at the only campus of the community college she is attending to offer the classes she needs to finish this semester. Without transportation, she is helpless. Public transportation doesn't run late enough to get her home or conveniently enough to get her there.

Unfortunately, I have settled on the other side of the world and as a housewife no longer have the disposable income I would need to be able to help her. But I do have cloth. Cloth and craftiness and friends.

So I am going to be making arm warmers. For a $10 donation to my mom's cause (via the website listed above or preferably paypal), I will supply you with arm warmers to keep your forewarms happy and warm this winter. This donation includes shipping and my heartfelt thanks for helping my mom in any little bit that we can. The selection will be limited but interesting as all materials for this project as straight from right here in Japan. I'm collecting funds either in person or via paypal. For more information, email me.

This fund raiser runs from now until the end of January, so get your donation in today! First come first serve for selection and I will have pictures listed here and on my twitter account.

Thanks so much for your support!