Year of the Writer

2015 was "Year of the Writer" as far as I was concerned. By this point, I had sent out between five and seven contest entries or publication attempts in an effort to achieve my year-long goal of Becoming a Writer, which I elaborated as "having attempted publication fifty times or more" in a somewhat arbitrary way.

The good thing about my perspective then was that it was not focused only on positive reactions to my writing. Any rejection was fine and got me one step closer to that magical number 50, and if I kept up my goal of one entry per number of the month (one for January, two for February, etc.) I would have more than seventy entries by the end of the year. I would be a writer!

Only that isn't how it happened. I had not calculated for burnout, and for all the minor heartbreaks along the way. Putting weeks of energy into a 15,000 word manuscript just to send it off and get no. reply. at all. was one of the final nails in the coffin of this idealistic projection.

After June, half-way through the year, I had to take some time off. The contest entries were drying up and I didn't have a bunch of options for the higher numbered months. In rereading the short stories that came back time and time again, I realized that they did have something missing; they needed reworking, and I no longer had the energy to do it.

I took of July to re-evaluate my goals. Was this writing thing really for me, if it was this hard? I mean, Neil Gaiman said writing careers are for those who perservere, but I was no longer sure I could do that.

So went the rest of the year, until I finally decided (after a friend's tarot reading and a lot of soul searching) that I would write when I could because I always loved it, but I wouldn't put so much pressure on myself to do all the things right now. My daughter is 2 and she eats a lot of time and energy. Life isn't over. We've got tons of time.

December came with another Nano mostly finished and out of the blue I got a message from the head of one of the contests I had submitted to half a year before. I had won! First place no less! With cash-money as a reward...okay paypal-money, but that isn't the point.

As a personal reward, I bought a box of meat from The Meat Guy and enjoyed turkey sandwiches for a month (a rare delicacy in this country) and sent some money to my mom because I love my mom.
And I spent a little here and there on trivial things, and tried to save as much as I can because I don't know when I'll have a little chunk of money like that again.

And now, finally, in March 2016, I have spent writing winnings on something writing related and bought a couple of Ray Bradbury books, including Zen in the Art of Writing, from ThriftBooks which was really cheap even with me being in Japan. Lots of books for less than $5 plus $5 shipping per item for international orders and it's like going to a virtual Book-Off that actually has what I want!

Yay!

In other news, I am doing Camp NaNoWriMo next month with a friend or two. I think I'll free myself up and just write whatever works for me.

A few weeks ago, I was excited about an autobiographical project, but that enthusiasm has died down to nothing in the weeks since, during which even putting the outline into scrivener involved juggling a toddler.
That was when I realized that writing is not a hobby. It's a job and I am not treating it like one.

This year, I am going to focus on getting Julia ready for school next year, so writing will not be on the main-stage for a bit, outside of NaNo months, but then there will be a few hours a day when no one is on top of me and I might have a chance to get a few things done.

Ganbatte!

March 11, 5 Years Later

I've been toying around with what to say here for months and still have no idea. I know it's been five years since the quake and tsunami, since my mother spent her birthday without confirmation of life from me and since my husband (then boyfriend-almost-fiance) risked his life driving into Sendai to get me.

And it's a long story, and I already told it a thousand times. The next time I tell it, it will be in book form. If you don't know it, here's the Star-Telegram article on the subject.

Five years, eh? And my daughter has been alive for half of that.

My life is a lot different. Less income, but more on top of my student loans (sort of), and honestly a lot more emotionally healthy. I make art sometimes now, and not always in writing. When I splurge, I spend 2000yen at the 100 yen store or buy myself a cup of coffee in Sendai. Or go to the crazy sale at Book Off on the 29th.

So I guess my message on this fateful day is to live life to its fullest and try not to be afraid. To any timid folks, scared of being in Japan during a massive quake or tsunami, I can say just a couple of things.

First, the likelihood of any of that happening is small and these specific catastrophes cannot be accurately predicted, so freaking out ahead of time is a waste of time and energy. If you're visiting Japan for any length of time, you will probably feel some small quakes. Big ones are scarier, but not that scary in the moment in my experience. If you're going to experience an earthquake and live through it, this is where you're going to do that.

Second, follow the leader. If something were to happen, do what the locals do and most of the time, you'll be fine. Or at least just as wrong as the locals. If someone who has lived here their whole life does it a little wrong, you probably will be forgiven for doing the same thing.

That's really all I have to say about that. I might try to Vlog (ooh, something new) tomorrow from Sendai if it feels appropriate. We're going for other reasons, but if we can shoot a little video for youtube, too, well...what the heck.

So go live life, people!