Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Kindergarten Interview Day

We got up, showered and dressed in something of what may one day become a normal pattern. Julia even crashed early last night, so Tomo and I got to snuggle and look at stupid funny things on my laptop as we haven’t done since 2012.
This is after we went over the questionnaire we’ve had for weeks but Tomo never read to me or made a big deal about. I didn’t realize it was a self-assessment of eligibility to enter the kindergarten, and perhaps on some level it wasn’t. Tomo is sure it was, 100%, and we failed miserably because my daughter’s been learning English phonics and spelling and songs and having fun instead of being productive. She doesn’t always listen or know what she’s supposed to do and some stuff doesn’t work the way it should, but for my country and upbringing, this isn’t a big deal. She’s fine.
Keep in mind I never had an interview to get into a school and wasn’t really great at interviews for jobs either. I got to Japan for teaching experience. I got to teach for writing a book. I got to write a book for one features article in the TCU school paper and a willingness to conduct surveys and interpret the resulting data. I got into TCU with a worksheet they sent me in the mail.

I’ve never done anything like this, and we’ve already failed to properly prepare her because it never occurred to me that I was supposed to be training her for this, which is really my fault for being distracted. I’m surviving and she’s surviving and where I come from, that’s not bad. I forgot to tally that in with the whole Japanese moms making their kid the center of their universe and their only reason for existing. I’m not big on that, though she is the center of my universe. The thing is my value as a human is not equal to her impressiveness toward others. We’re okay, really. I just realized that I was shirking a societally preconceived responsibility that isn’t as innate in my culture.
Oh well. And I say that after spending a night crying and feeling like the least useful thing on the planet. In my dark moments, my laughter came from the realization that they should not expect more from a country that produced people who celebrate the election of a billionaire sociopath as a champion of the middle-class.

So we went to the school, played briefly and got called into the interview room, where Julia could name all the colors of all the things asked, only in English, and I should have pushed her to name the things and the colors in Japanese, but instead she got up and started exploring the room, and tried to roll on the floor when I tried to bring her back to the table.

The up-side? If we lost it today, we lost it based on Julia being a child and me not restricting her to such a degree that she could perform as a miniature adult. I think I can take that.

We went to get flu shots afterward, then McDonald’s. By the time we got home, Julia was asleep, so I tried to watch Brazil, which I hadn’t seen since I was an undergrad and won’t see for a bit longer. I was too exhausted and my post-lunch Julia snuggle turned into a full on nap. Tomo elected to watch Dragon Ball Z while the rest of us slept on the couch and eventually we all came together for a family snuggle.

For a fitting end to the day, we’re watching The Little Prince, as I’ve got Netflix this month and Tomo hasn’t seen it and I missed half of it on the Day of the Akebi.

We’re going to be okay.

Monday, November 14, 2016

Hard to Write? Keep Going!

This Nano really is the hardest ever for me.

It’s not just that 50,000 words is a quite a lot or that I’m exhausted with my 3-year-old, demanding far more attention than she did last year or the year before. That would have been hard, don’t get me wrong, and the first few days I saw how challenging just that part was.

And then the election happened.

And now, every time I set myself to the task, I start to feel less and less secure about the outcome. My brain fills with asinine and unhelpful commentary instead of prose. It’s like my own personal muse is suffering from untreated clinical depression and I’m stuck with a mopey fairy bringing down whatever little I can put into the book today.

I’ve included all my November blog posts in my word count, which is not what a professional writer would do, because a professional writer would have a lot of things I don’t, like time and the ability to focus. I’ve got so little energy that I was falling asleep while writing last night despite writing a scene I was interested in. Very much so. I had great ideas for the glimpse of this conversation I had seen in my mind’s eye and I started into it and woke up 3 lines later, most of what I had put down fairly unintelligible and lost to unconsciousness.

Just like earlier this year, I am giving myself a damned break. I need to just let it be okay. This is not the year that I complete all the things. This is the year that I do what I can and try to get something like a working draft of this story together before the end of nano. If that’s only 30,000 words, that’s fine. My other 20k will be non-fic blog-style, which just has to happen sometimes.

So if you find yourself questioning why you even bother putting words on the page this November, because there’s a lot of crazy reprehensible shit going on out there in the real world and your little idle book writing isn’t going to do any good to any one ever so why do you even try….

Remember JK. Remember that J.K Rowling was a single mom on welfare writing in a coffee shop. She had to have weak moments too, when she felt like maybe throwing in the towel and getting some stupid minimum wage kick might at least keep food on the table, and how could her meager little writing do any good for any one?
But it did. I dare say it saved the world. This series didn’t just create a wizarding world of imagination and delight, but also made clever, well-developed points about tolerance and loving your fellow humans, mudblood, muggle, or otherwise. The time and energy she put into creating, crafting and polishing the stories helped turn it into the success it had been, but without just sitting down and writing, it would only have been the weird thoughts of some impoverished woman in England.

If she could make it happen and if her books could change a generation, then your writing can mean something, even if only to you.


Honestly, in my critical self-analysis, I also realize that my tendency toward the first person when emotional now points to some great strides in my brain’s decisions to combat things head on, rather than internalizing them to a point where they can only be riddled out through great works of fiction. Might make me a significantly less awesome writer, but a lot happier person.

So if you’re feeling lost or stuck in your NaNoWriMo novel, or any other project you’re attempting this month that seems insurmountable, remember JK. Remember that what you choose to do with your time had value and meaning.
You have value and meaning.
Just in case you needed to hear that today.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Walking Away from the Fighting

After writing my last post, I felt the need to share it with one of the young conservative republicans who had posted the previous pleas that caused the piece to be written in the first place. Her husband, who I have never met, apparently chose to respond, and this was for me, due to time difference, just as I was getting ready to go teach an evening class, which meant getting my daughter ready, too. I didn’t have evergy. When I got back, I didn’t have the energy so I stopped and unfollowed the post. It’s not like I posted an essay-length commentary onm her comments section. I linked to my blog post and explained that that was my response. Others could choose to go over there and read it or not. Apparently some chose to, and while I do believe in civil discourse, there are requirements of such, including time, energy, compassion, and an adversary with an equal amount of each. I had no energy left to deal with whatever the conservative Christian republicans who generally only talk to like-minded individuals had to say on the subject. I lacked the energy and compassion. I still don’t know what was said and don’t really want to.
The next morning, I saw that my cousin, the one who posted the original “Don’t hate me for being Republican” post, had chosen to chime in. Facebook and gmail now sometime show you the first line of a longer message or comment so you can know what’s going on before you click, right? Well I saw the first line, even though I unfollowed this post, and it was something like “Are you liberal or do you just not get it?” which to me sounded a lot like “Are you exactly like me or some kind of moron?” which may not even be what she meant.
Again, if I can’t engage with compassion, I’d rather not engage. I don’t have the patience for this and raising a 3 year old. I unfollowed the cousin. I will not go back to that page, not to read their comments nor delete my own. I feel like an inadvertent troll, inciting them to whatever that crap was and walking away, but I didn’t do it for entertainment. I was trying to explain the alternative side so that maybe we could all figure stuff out together, and maybe that is what they are doing, too. I hope it is and that this is me being overly cautious with my energy expenditure. If it is, I am sorry to them and all the people I could have helped by staying in that loop and having a civil discussion of the merits of….whatever is supposed to have merit there.
But I haven’t seen a lot of rational people showing their love for this man. I’m not willing to jump in the deep end and hope the great white leaves me alone. I’d rather just stay in my distant pond, with the fishes I can swim with.
Maybe on some level I did them a favor by giving them a liberal to yell at, a voice to overpower with whatever it is they threw in my general direction. And maybe I am letting my side down by not responding, but I need to take care of myself right now, especially emotionally. I need to be able to be non-psycho with my kid, and I'm not 100% when I burn up all my patience trying to explain something that seems obvious and empathetic to me to people who have never heard of such a thing and meet my pleas for thoughtful discourse with righteous indignation.
How this sounds in my head:  Stupid Liberal! How Dare You Ask Me To Think of Minorities Like They Are People! They Are Not My Equals! Only My Church Friends Are My Equals!
(This might be unfair, but it follows the rhetoric provided.)

Anyway, an hour after I unfollowed my cousin, I skyped my grandmother (a regularly scheduled occurrence) and since she too had supported Bernie Sanders, I chose to mention the election. Big mistake. It was a passionate monologue with the following summary: It doesn’t matter who’s in the office. They were equally bad. I hated her more. Repeal Obamacare. I didn't vote anyway.
I had little to say to this, as it was time to call my father. A lot of white folks feel this way, though. That it doesn't matter because they both sucked, but that doesn't cover how much truly hateful stuff that guy said during his campaign. Do you remember any other presidential candidate ever suggesting his followers commit violence against those who do not agree? Not even Bush. Not even Nixon. Not anyone I’ve heard of or seen footage of, to my knowledge. The leaders who say things like that are people like Hitler. They say, “Let’s get violent against those who are different,” and some people love them for it and that is why this is dangerous.

What we need now is for Trump to stand up and tell ALL of his constituents to stop the violence and hatred. That would earn him some of my respect. If he tells his most violent friends to stop hurting anyone, that you cannot and should not hurt people with words or worse for something as basic as the color of their skin or their religion or sexual orientation or gender or lack of any of the above….If he could just get that violence to stop….
They might not listen. They might revolt. But he’d get a little of my respect.
I wonder if that is worth it to him.

He did do something surprising regarding transphobia and bathrooms this week, so who knows? It is unlikely that I will ever like him, but maybe he could show the world that he is a human being, not a violent, hateful object at the center of a cult of personality.
I want to see that. I really do.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

It's Not That Simple, Young Reps

This morning, I role-played trying to explain my political opinions in Japanese so that when my in-laws pick up my daughter later and drive me to work, I’ll have something prepared. I’m willing to bet that they are curious about my stance. Add to this that my father-in-law is fairly conservative and my mother-in-law fairly liberal and I know there’s a bit of explaining to do.
I’m liberal. For my home state, extremely so. We’ve never discussed politics before. The grace of a language barrier.
So what I came up with, to explain in basic terms, translates back to English as, “He is a monster. He only speaks hate. The only people he likes are white Christians. This is not my America.”
And then I burst into tears.

I haven’t cried for this fresh hell of an election, mostly because my three-year-old keeps distracting me. She smiles and tells me something silly with a hug and a kiss and I feel like maybe the world isn’t all bad. Later I remember my friends and loved ones of different races and creeds. I remember my friends having babies who will not be just white and may not be insured, and I worry. A lot.
Two days ago, my decisions of the last decade were tested and for the first time in that 8 years since I left the states, I felt that following my intuition to live out here and keep on doing so was right. The progression and time-line of my relationship with my husband make sense. Even when we chose to have my daughter makes sense. These were mostly fantastic decisions I’ve decided, because I cannot fully regret them now.
Japan is sexist and racist and xenophobic (not entirely unlike the South), but at least they are usually quiet about it.

This morning, I lay in bed, warm under the covers with my toddler, reading up on Facebook. A lot of my friends are taking a break, for good reason. Some are fighting. Some are resigned.

While perusing the articles, this is what I came across:
2 different young republican posts pleading to not be demonized for how they voted
2 different posts from Asian Americans being chased and/or beaten by groups of Trump supporters.
(what better way to celebrate a win than a hate crime!)
1 Fantastic post from an Evangelical (and anti-Trump) friend, asking how to help those in need

There were also a handful of hate-crime related posts from all around the country and a couple of good sharings of positive information including suicide prevention line phone numbers (which I shared as well).

In one of the young republican posts, the writer suggests that they are pro-choice but would prefer it if that choice were only used for life-saving situations. Voting for politicians who want to overturn Roe V Wade isn’t a vote for accessibility for those who need it. It’s a vote against anyone ever getting a safe abortion. Honestly, it’s a vote for incest, child rape and murder, if you ask me. But no one asked me. I’m a liberal, that’s why.
Liberals in most of my home state are seen as bleeding-heart weirdoes with weird ideas like trying to save things that middle-ish class white America prefers to shit on: people of color, LGBT folks, anything not exactly like us. I am liberal because I want to protect people, even those who I have little in common with, from unprovoked assault.

These hate crimes that are occurring in schools and public places? They’re not being provoked. An Asian American man in Dallas isn’t walking up to a bunch of white guys in Trump-wear shouting obscenities, but he is running for his car and high-tailing it out of there, fearing for his life because the country he was born and raised in also created these hateful bastards, so scared of any difference that they feel they must attack to defend the white-ness.

One needn’t defend the white-ness. It’s pretty fucking defended. White women in America aren’t having cross-laden necklaces ripped from their necks as people tell them to go back to Europe. This is not happening. But people are pulling off women’s hijabs and suggesting they flee and/or kill themselves. If you don’t see these things as similar, you’ve got way too much privilege and way too little empathy.

So, young republican Trump supporters, this is why I posted early this week on Facebook that I don’t want to talk to you about Trump. It’s not because I disagree with your choice of candidate only because they are not from my party. The hate that Trump speaks has power and meaning, and if you’re lucky enough to be Caucasian, cis-gender, and straight you may not have to feel the pangs of it, at least not yet. You may not realize what is going on for some time, as it isn’t attacking your religion, sexual orientation, or quality of life.

I was never a Bush fan. Again, I’m liberal. During the Bush campaign, while I was in high school, I remember having a number of debates with a close friend who was a staunch conservative. She had points. She had reasons why his policies made sense to her and actual thought-provoking things to say on the subject. I’m not generally happy to have these kinds of discussions, but she was well informed and could back up what she was saying. No name calling. No stupid crap.
She is, by the way, not a Trump fan.
I have yet to see (nor seek out, admittedly) any good pro-Trump arguments, nor any so good as to offset the hate he spews so freely. His being A-Ok with the KKK cannot be outweighed by him not being a Clinton. His anti-Muslim rhetoric (which should remind you of Hitler if you paid any attention in modern world history class) does not outweigh him not being a classical trained politician. People seem to think that his lack of political understanding frees him from being a corrupt official— that he hasn’t had the chance to be bought and paid for. Good idea, except he’s already corrupt in so many other ways, like being on trial for fraud next month, in addition to child-rape and a number of other truly awful things.

You see, I don’t even get it for Christians. I don’t get how a woman in a pantsuit (breaking a rule from Deuteronomy, oh no!) is worse for the country than a man who had broken so many COMMANDMENTS. (mainly 7-10)

I just don’t get it, and I know, you few ultra-conservative friends and relations, maybe you don’t get it either. Because to you she’d not just a woman in a pantsuit— she’s an embodiment of evil. She want to make sure people can get abortions or any other kind of health care they need. Yes, that means some people pay more and some less. No, this does not benefit the wealthy. It benefits those who need help over those who are in a position to help themselves.
Do I agree with everything she or Obama have said or done? No. Not by a long shot. But Obama’s election didn’t cause this hate and fear; the widespread terror the way this one has. It didn’t cause groups of proud black men to accost and beat up white strangers shouting “Hail Obama!”
Nope. It didn’t. It really didn’t.
It didn’t cause Muslim Americans to protest the building of Christian Churches. That didn’t happen.

If you can put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a minute, and think of all things as supposedly equal, you might see why this doesn’t work. According to the constitution, this is not a Christian nation. America has no state religion for a reason— because the people who founded it didn’t want the Church of England quashing alternative religious choices in their day to be something their new country would do. If you put down the bible for a minute and imagine that, in the eyes of the American justice system, there is nothing wrong with being Muslim, or atheist, or anything else, because America isn’t supposed to care who you worship on Sundays or whenever. Got it? America isn’t supposed to favor one religion over the others. That’s one of the most beautiful things about the country. Instead of playing the petulant children and only saying “No church of England! They made the Puritans leave. Jerks!” they looked to the root of the problem. State religion is a very bad thing, partially because it keeps us from seeing each other as equal. In the eyes of the law, your church affiliation should be less important than your tax-payer status.

Have you, Christians, been made to feel unwelcome in your own communities just for how you celebrate your religion? Others not celebrating as you do doesn’t count.
Have you, straight people, felt endangered by the election? Has anyone offered to cleanse you of your straightness through prayer and electroshock? Even if you believe that homosexuality (or any non hetero thing) is sinful, isn’t that between the sinner and God? Not you? At all?
Have you, cis-gendered folks, felt like you were going to have to back-track through every gain you have made in your life to help become the adult you want to be, only to serve religious ideology that you don’t follow? Has someone made you be something that you, at your core, simply are not? That’s what it feels like for these people. Even if you think it’s an unnatural sin, this is what they feel and their feelings are valid.

There are more points to be made, too many I think, but I’ve got to move on. My reason for telling my friends list to shut up or ship off with the Trump crap was made necessary by a boy I once knew, too long ago, who felt the only right thing to do when I posted my comment regarding Trump as a Rapist (many allegations and lawsuits pending) was to claim the same of Bill Clinton (1 early sexual harassment suit and a consensual sex act from an intern), for which I find no evidence. The claims against Trump outweigh the claims against Bill Clinton by a small landslide. I told him so. He disagreed, again using the same debate tactics his candidate is famous for, which offer little fact or proof of anything.
Tired of the shouting match and frustrated with being so riled up by someone who isn’t even using logic against me, I deleted the thread, blocked the boy, and posted what I did. Not because I’m a bigot who can’t stand not getting her way, but because I really don’t think the well-meaning Trump supporters have a full grasp of the damage their candidate is likely to do over the next four years. He’s not even inaugurated yet— it’s been less than a week since the election— and hate crimes as well as teen suicides are through the roof.
At least, if my news feed is to be believed.

My point in this long, rambling, tear-filled pain-blossom is this: It’s not like it was with Bush. It’s much, much worse. It’s not as simple as shaking hands after a disagreement. It’s half of America saying the only people who deserve human rights are white, Christian, cis-gendered, and straight, though also probably male.
Obama didn’t tell you that you could not be Christian and American. Trump has indicated as much about Muslims. If you fall into all the positive pro-trump categories, it’s likely you haven’t felt as scared as everyone else is right now. The people on whom society already bestows much power were just granted free reign, and many are taking that as leave to abuse any other human who does not fit into their idea of what the world should look like. Even if you’re not perpetuating hate crimes, if you voted for Trump, you helped elect the guy who is telling them publicly that it is okay to be violent against people with different opinions; that facts don’t matter; that those who are different than you are lesser than.

That’s why it’s not as simple as liberal and conservative or democrat and republican. Your candidate is saying it is okay to hurt people. Show me where Obama said anything similar. Show me where Hillary suggested physical harm upon dissenters at her rallies.
Show me proof.
Please.
Until then, the sides are not equal. The man speaks of violent acts, condones them even. I haven’t seen others do this, even other conservatives. Show me how that does not have any effect on the increase in hate crimes against Muslims, people of color, LGBTQA, etc.
Show me the proof.
Or just don’t talk to me.

Have it your way.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Surviving Trump-erica

So the results are in. I have a longer post planned, explaining why this would have been quite shocking to me a few years ago, but is now kind of normal. America’s a lot more racist, misogynist, and stupid than I like to remember. That’s for later.

For now, let’s focus on what we can do. Not just drinking all the wine and angry crying about what the next four years have in store for us. More.

A lot of people are reminded of Hitler’s rise to power and for good reason. Trump sounds a lot like Hitler. Very xenophobic and focused on return his country to a previous state of greatness that many even now are still trying to identify. And the people who follow him are more into his cult of personality than actually analyzing any other part of his plans. “Something great” is not a plan. It’s an excuse to sell out the people stupid enough to elect you to the highest bidder.

I am more so reminded of The Great Proletariat Cultural Revolution of 1960s China, in which Mao believed that Western learning and thinking were undermining communism, so the country became divided between Red and Expert. Being well educated, especially educated abroad, was unpatriotic. Doing such could get you killed or sent to a re-education facility where you did hard labor until you understood that your intelligence was worth nothing. You were a communist now. Only communism mattered. Universities and other schools were closed. For years. Ancient cultural artifacts were destroyed. Anything old of foreign was cast out, burned, hacked, or otherwise destroyed.

What I remember from this section of modern Chinese history class was that the people divided themselves into bands and fought it out for who was the better follower of the word of Mao, and Mao ate it up.

This is after the Great Leap Foward, where Mao decided that they could make steel out of household metals and had whole communities rounding up all the metal in town to smelt and smelting it poorly. Rampant corruption and high quotas meant inflated figures on how much usable steel was being made. In the end, the steel was shit and at least 15 million people starved to death (scholars think it closer to twice that) because the farmers were busy creating mostly worthless steel instead of farming. Read more here.

I have a feeling that’s what we’re looking at here, because it’s not just about a few more people supporting one guy over the other. It’s about more than half of the country thoroughly believing in Trump despite all evidence that his list of sins include things like child rape. Many only believe with the capital B, the way they believe in God, which means there’s no critical analysis of the person, their qualities or their abilities.

It’s going to be a dark few years here. It will be unpopular to be accepting or loving of differences. It will be unpopular to be anything other than a straight, cis-gendered, white, Christian misogynist male.

So, if you are not all of those things or not all of those things and an asshole, I beg you to be different. Be like the guy in the famous picture of the Hitler speech, standing in the crowd, arms folded, not accepting the hatred and bullshit. Be the people who fought for their Jewish countrymen during the Holocaust. Do that now, for our Muslim friends and neighbors. For the refugees who just want a chance to live. For the people who grew up beside you with their only difference being the color of their skin. For anyone LGBTQA. For anyone.
If you see someone getting hassled for being different, help them. Stand up for them. Use whatever you can to help protect them. Don’t antagonize and provoke, but help. As much as you can, help.

I foresee this being a dark time for intellectuals, for differences, for ideas. I really think the next few years are going to be horrible, but do what you can to help who you can. Speak out. Let your hardships be known if any help can be granted.

Help yourselves and each other.
Be the change.
Don’t let the bastards get you.

Fight for Standing Rock.


My last 2 thoughts on the subject for today:
1) I’ve never been so happy to be raising a child abroad.
2) This would happen the year David Bowie (and so many talented others) died.

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Election Time

As I write this, it is Wednesday the ninth of November, and the presidential election results are coming in slowly. I get annoyed when started are declared and tallied with less than 50% of the data reported, but in the election, I feel very strongly that my opinion just does not matter.

I am a liberal Democrat from Texas, just like my mom. Or at least I used to be. I was a die-hard Berner and I still have reservations about how Hillary got the nomination. That said, I still voted for her.
A vote for Hillary is a vote for the status quo. The same level of corrupt political bullshit you're used to, now in female form and still at least trying to keep things running.
A vote for Trump is a vote for the apocalypse. A child rapist who would never have even become famous except for being born into a rich family and squandering millions upon millions lavishly and not well does not need to be in charge of the country.

He behaves like a toddler having a tantrum. He has all the manners and respect of an uncivilized 5 year old. And he rapes 13 year olds. Rapes them. His trial is next month.

Amanda Palmer recently wrote a tweet stating that the man should be pitied and while I admire her level of empathy, I cannot follow suit. I cannot pity a rapist. I cannot have sympathy or empathy for a child rapist. This is not a person worthy of out time, much less our vote. Yet billions are voting for him.

On the up side, in the economic ruin following a trump presidency, my student loans will likely have significantly less overall value.
The only problem is a lot of global economies are tied into America not being an impoverished wasteland, but electing a man who declares bankruptcy so often to the highest office in the land is not going to lead us in any other direction. This is what I truly believe.

I don’t want to see this happen. There are too many people I still love and care about in the country of my birth. I have never in my lifetime been more ashamed of being a Southerner due to a current political event.
At the same time, despite all the weirdness of Japan, I am more happy than ever to be on the other side of the world from whatever political upheaval may follow.

So if you’re looking to escape to Japan, look me up and ask me about it. I did it before it was cool. Hah. Yeah, not really. I did it after it was hugely financially positive, but before it was necessary to avoid getting shot.

Stay peaceful, people. Stay alive.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Blue Monday

Today was not my best day.

On 5 hours of sleep, I woke up and chatted with my mom before running Julia across town to music class, where she spent the last half of the time period running away from me. The saddest part was that she would do the dances well standing across the room from me, the same ones she refused to do when I was near her.
Yeah, it's about time for Kindergarten.

For some reason, with only 4 kids including Julia in a class that used to be at least double that size, I started thinking that maybe they had all quit because of us-- because my style of parenting doesn't lend itself well in this country and that I have no idea how the parents of the other kids get them to sit there patiently and calmly when mine is wild, even when disciplined-- and then I felt guilty and ashamed and like maybe every single thing I do here is wrong and maybe I don't know how to get it right and maybe it doesn't even matter.

That's about the time a chunk of falling depression hit me hard on the back.
I didn't cry, even after the class. I did walk home in a fog of weirdness, but I still caught some Pokemon, so my mood improved a little. We hit the grocery store where I picked up bento lunch for us and Tomo who was sleeping in at home. We headed back and ate a bit and relaxed. Then my sister-in-law and I skyped for a bit.
Tomo got weirdly testy and then had a nap, so he was probably grumpy from lack of sleep.

Julia did not have a nap. I still want a nap, but now I've wasted the last 2 hours writing half a (different) blog post I might never finish and none of my story at all.

It's not even 5PM yet and I am exhausted.

So I guess I'll go and try the nano again.
Hugs to you, people. Hugs to you.