Everything I Think About Abortion

This is another post of things that keep circling around in my head and in order to not accidentally pour a whole essay into the comment on some pro-forced-birth post, I'm putting it all here. That way it's more likely to be articulate if I am forced to use it later.

I have never had an abortion and am unlikely to ever have one, but I believe firmly that they should be legal, safe, and available to anyone with a uterus.

In some states, there are exceptions for rape or incest, but this means someone who had pregnancy inflicted upon them in these ways must stand up and publicly accuse the perpetrator in order to not be forced to carry to term a pregnancy she had no choice in making. This includes anyone old enough to menstruate, which can start as early as the age of 8 in some cases. So the idea is that yes, the 8 year old carrying the fetus forced upon her by her pedophile uncle/father/neighbor/whatever must stand up and accuse said grown man of this, an act requiring courage that even grown adults frequently lack.

I want that child to be able to get an abortion. It won't be a picnic, but it will be better than letting pregnancy shift everything her brain and body could become permanently.

And if letting that girl get to retain some tiny amount of her childhood means a few grown women who enjoyed the sex they had and just don't want to have children get out of pregnancy without the hell of childbirth, I don't mind. I don't care at all. I'd rather they had the option if they so chose. There are still women who will carry their children to term and give them up for adoption and other who will put everything on hold to parent the little offspring growing inside them.

And if you're pro-forced birth, you may be thinking, "But Jessica, you have a child! How could you be pro-choice?"
And the answer is that because I am a mother, I am ardently pro-choice. Parenthood is a struggle. Sometimes it flows like magic. Sometimes it burns you to cinders. It should in no way be forced upon you. Not everyone was meant to do this job, and those who don't want to or aren't ready to surely shouldn't be forced to. Ever.

Not having forced-birth means having options, even if you're poor or broke or in an abusive relationship or whatever. Not being forced to carry anything that happens in your body for 9 months and then surrender the result to an over-crowded orphanage (for they will be in the land of forced-birth) gives the owner of the uterus options and hope.

But I'm super-religious!
Good for you. Even if so, 1)why should your religious have anything to do with how someone else lives their lives and 2) don't you believe the owner of the uterus will burn in hell for this anyway? Why not let your god have his vengeance on them later, as planned, as your faith dictates, and leave them the hell alone now? Or send thoughts and prayers, like you do for gun control.

Saying fetuses aren't people is like saying Jews aren't people. You're a Nazi!
Except no. You do know that Anne Frank wasn't hiding because she literally could not live outside of an attic, right? Pro-choice does not mean forcing abortion upon people who do not want it. It does mean allowing those who want it to have an option. Fetuses change their hosts' bodies and brains in ways that cannot be undone. Fetuses cannot be transplanted once implantation occurred. That means the ones that wind up in the Fallopian tubes must be aborted or kill their host from rupturing said tube. That means the only options are carrying it to term or removing it. Nazis weren't about options. Pro-choice is all about options. I don't want all pregnancies ended. I want people trapped in an unplanned/unwelcome/unviable/un-whatever pregnancy to have an option other than going through hell.


I am unlikely to choose abortion in the future unless there are serious and unexpected quality-of-life issues (like the fetus's brain is not contained in a skull and I would be forced to go through the hell of unmedicated childbirth in Japan just to see a genetic anomaly that literally cannot survive outside incubation) but I want every uterus-holding human in the world to have the option of safe, inexpensive abortion. Children should be wanted. Parenthood should be wanted. Neither should every be forced upon the unwilling, regardless of their "sins" otherwise.

Stuff that has Happened

I do mean to write here more frequently, and usually get distracted by a dozen other things. Parenting and teaching eat a lot of energy. Suffice it to say I am surviving.

Complaints of the day:
Tuesday I noticed my appetite had vanished. This for me is a cause for alarm as it's usually the sign of a major depressive episode coming up and I don't want it. I couldn't point to any direct causes so instead I started trying to take better care of myself. It turns out teaching small children for an hour is great cardio and mental stimulation. I felt better afterward, until I got home and felt slightly nauseated for the rest of the day. That feeling dissipates now only when I am thoroughly distracted by teaching or sleeping. At least I have a job I like.

It wasn't until Wednesday night that it occurred to me that I might be anxious about my sister-in-law giving birth. I chatted with my mom, who is in the middle of the induction affair currently underway and that alone managed to calm me to the point of getting to sleep.

Being this worked up over a baby on the other side of the world in a time when I can offer nothing but text if they happen to be looking at a phone or computer isn't entirely logical but is also in its way just desserts. What exactly did my family and friends go through 5 years ago, when I was confined to Japanese hospitalized bed-rest for half the pregnancy? I didn't even get to tell them when I went into labor because I gave my purse to my mother-in-law who wouldn't have been able to a) use an app on my smartphone or b) do so in English to communicate with my family. They had to be nervous for me, too, and they had to, as I have to now, put some level of faith and trust in the decisions already made and the help they are already receiving.  It's scary, but it will be okay.

I also realized two days ago that one of my back molars has partially shattered, leaving a gaping hole in the enamel that seemed to occur literally overnight. Chewing on that side isn't as painful as I would have expected and the tooth isn't stabbing into anything else, as a wisdom tooth on the other side did when I was teaching high school 11 years ago. While I know adulting for me in this position is sucking up the nausea and walking over to the dental clinic to make an appointment today, I don't think I will. Not until my niece is out and my sister-in-law is safe and well. Not until I can guarantee that this issue is anxiety and not something more contagious. Not until I know I won't accidentally vomit on the one dentist I trust in this country to do the job well, kindly, quickly, and while treating me like a person.

So today I am writing and relaxing as much as I can. Hopefully that helps distract and relax me until everything else settles down.



Other things I did recently:
During Golden Week I visited a haunted-looking abandoned amusement park with a friend and took creepy pictures for fun. I also moved all the furnishing's from Julia's then-bedroom (former nursery/tatami room) to her new bedroom, and moved everything from that "spare" room into the tatami room. With the last day of Japan's week-long holiday, Tomo, Julia and I went to Yamagata where we climbed the 1,050 steps of Yamadera (a temple on a mountain) and I saw wild Japanese monkeys for the first time in my nearly 11 years here. Then we went to Lina World, a tiny amusement park that was practically vacant and therefor a lot of fun. No lines, lots of little rides that Julia could enjoy, even a 2 story Hello-Kitty-themed carousel that was playing an orchestration of a Gackt song.

So we had a good break, and things have been mostly well, aside from the anxiety and nausea and all that.