January in Japan, in a Nutshell

So this is January in Japan. As we come to the end of the month, I'm greeted with a fuck-ton of anxiety concerning cleaning the crap out of my already cluttered home before my gracious in-laws see the mess I've made of the fancy condo they helped us acquire. I'd bar the doors and make excuses to keep them out, as is my custom (though my limited language ability prevents this being more and agreeing with my mother-in-law when she suggests I might be too busy) but this won't work this time. They'll be coming alright, early next month, to set up a massive doll display that I will get to later.

Much later.

In the mean time, let's talk about January.

First, we jump to December 31st, when  my husband turned on the "Music-Battle" New Year's program only for me to discover that the pretty, costumed, male pop-stars were unrecognizable and somehow no longer even attractive. The most I want to do is teach them proper pronunciation, and maybe algebra. I don't want to touch them. I don't even want to watch them sing. I spent more time tearing apart their costumes in my mind for creative purposes than anything else.

And that's one of those "You know you've been in Japan too long..." things. You know you've been here too long when the hot young pop stars hold no appeal or interest, and when the pop stars you were interested are not on the pop programs anymore.

And I wept a little inside. Did I get old somehow? I mean I kinda saw it coming when my friends last year, all in their mid-twenties, asked me who my favorite member of Arashi (a popular male group) was and all I could say is "The one that looks like Hyde. The one my friend likes. Jun...something?"

What redeemed me was seeing Gackt on a different New Year's program the next day at my in-laws' house. See? The ones I like still exist! They's just more reclusive because they already made their money and are probably secretly gay and afraid the archaic political climate of their home country would shun their love life. Or maybe not. Like I know anything about pop-stars.

Enough about pop-stars.


Early January in Japan also entails a trip to the nearest shrine (here's the Wiki.) to pay respect to the Shinto spirits so that you might have good fortune in the coming year.
Unless you're me.
Or, like me, you were born in one of the years deemed unlucky by the powers that be. There's a whole chart of birth years up for you to see as you approach the active part of the shrine. Standing in a  huge line with a butt-load of Japanese people, you have plenty of time to look over it. Then you creep forward until you can perform the shrine ritual of throwing a coin, clapping, and pulling the rope to ring a giant bell while somewhere in there making a wish. Yeah, I still don't really have the pattern down, which is why I watch other people go first. Always. 7 years now and still.

If you happen to know the pattern, I congratulate you, but don't bother to explain it to me. My brain doesn't care enough to remember it. I've tried.

Here's the whole wiki on Japanese New Year with more info that I know about what goes on.
Another thing happening at the same time is New Year's Cards, which are like Christmas cards but usually involve the eastern zodiac animal for the coming year and messages of hope and love.

Every card comes with a code in a weird sort of reluctant lottery. Around mid-month, you can find the codes and check them against your cards. If you win, you go to the post office and collect your winnings. It seems that the best prizes are electronics or gift certificates of some outrageous value. I mean, outrageous to me. For a lucky number found on a card you didn't even buy?
Second place means matching 4 of the 6 numbers and has some other goods listed as prizes. The third round is matching 2 numbers, and entitles the winner to something google translates as "a lottery sheet" though I have no idea what that could mean,

But I am going to find out because, lucky us, we have one matching card! For the round 3 position, but still...lottery sheet!? Yay?!


Another thing that happens mid-month is the New Year's Decoration Bonfire! Also known as Dontosai, which sounds like "Don't--oh--sigh" is you're not used to Japanese. Here's more info.

You might be picturing burning Christmas trees and giant piles of horrible-smelling melting plastic, but I assure you that isn't the case. The New Year's Decorations for Japanese people are made from a lot of wood and wood-like substances that burn easily enough. Also, all old Shinto charms from the previous year (made from wood and/or cloth and paper) get thrown on the fire. Most households put all their decorations and charms into a paper bag and bring them to the fire.

There's also this whole thing about this being the "naked" festival, which is insane because 1) I've never seen naked people there and 2) that's not really the point of the thing, especially for the average resident. If you're in the right kind of company, you might be enlisted to do the "naked" run to the shrine in which you will wear a loin cloth and (as I've seen) a full-torso ace-bandage. then you'll run with a bunch of people wearing the same thing in the almost-freezing temperatures and run a lap around the shrine, it seems. Again, you can read up on it here.

I've never really wanted to watch a bunch of kids and office workers nearly freezing their bits off, so I usually don't really pay attention to this bit. Also, we're usually not there early enough to watch it, what with my husband being a Japanese funeral director and all.

More on that later, too.

In the meantime, here is my family at the bonfire. It is believed that no one warmed around the New Year's fire can become sick within the year. We proved this wrong 2 years ago when Julia and I pretty much immediately got the flu.
Anyway, fire!!

Julia and Tomo in 2014

Julia and (happier) Tomo in 2016.