Admittedly, I don't really get people.
On my report cards in elementary school, they always included a little yes or no check list of 6 things your kid may or may not be doing well, such as using time wisely and being clean and tidy. Without fail, every six-weeks of the school year, I would have all As in the grade column, all Es (for Excellent) in the citizenship column, and a big fat N for "Works well with others" which always bothered me. I never really got the point of having that mark on the page, of letting my parents know how badly I fail at making friends. It seemed to me like putting salt on the wound. It was bad enough that the other kids knew I was weird and didn't want to play with me. Having proof on paper didn't help matters.
I did eventually make friends, a few at a time. Many of the ones I made in high school are still considered friends more than a decade later. But my college associates still perplex me some.
Have you ever noticed it's a friend's birthday on Facebook and, remembering that that friend has a twin sister with shockingly the same birthday, clicked on the links to post on the walls only to find that one of the two has cast you out? Well that's what I just went through. Then I searched for the girl, because it's five in the morning and my brain will not clean more for a minute. She is nowhere to be found. So either she died suddenly and no one bothered to tell me or she has decided to block me, who knows why.
Maybe it was all my whining when I was hospitalized and on bed rest during the pregnancy. Maybe it was the pregnancy in and of itself, and the choices I made around it like giving up my job to stay at home. Maybe she's a nutball. Maybe it was incidental. Maybe I shouldn't care. Correct that--I definitely shouldn't care.
This isn't the first non-crucial acquaintance I've lost on Facebook for reasons that are still unclear to me. Since I don't live in the same city as this person, there is no way for me to easily contact or find her. If she doesn't want me to know her, maybe it's best I just don't know her.
But things like this always give me pause. I think it's because it seems so juvenile-- really a lot of social media does to me-- and pointless. We're friends. No we're not. Friends again. Not. Maybe. Nope. I don;t have time for this. I'm nearly 30 and I've got a baby to raise.
And a house to clean. I really hate cleaning. Tomorrow the in-laws come over to set up the ungodly expensive doll selection they bought for Julia for Hina matsuri (girl's day or doll's festival), which will be set up directly in front of our large closet, meaning I cannot access that closet at all for the next month. Whipee.
I only found out when they were coming earlier today, when my husband came home with tons of news. So I've spent the night cleaning and dealing with the baby and organizing the spare room. And being exhausted. I don't think I should pull all nighters anymore.
That said, there's still more to be done.
Adios, compadres.
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